" Life as a Middle School Teacher: Bullying

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Monday, May 28, 2007

Bullying

I found this article on "The Sun"'s Website:



Driven to death - by bullies


By DAVID LOWE
May 25, 2007

COMMENT ON THIS STORY


TODAY is The Big Stand – a national event against bullying.

Celebrities including Chantelle, Beth Ditto and Jo Whiley will join thousands around the country in a bid to give bullying the boot.

One man determined to show his support is Paul Vodden.

Tragically Paul knows the devastating consequences of bullying firsthand.

His beloved 11-year-old son Ben killed himself after being tormented at school by fellow pupils - and an irresponsible bus driver.

The last time Paul Vodden heard from Ben was a text saying ‘They’re doing it again.’

Since his first week at secondary school 11-year-old Ben had suffered bullying – and to Paul’s disappointment it showed no sign of stopping.

When Paul, 57, returned home to Southwater, West Sussex, that night last December his wife Caroline, 47, explained Ben was shut in his room.

The concerned dad went in for a chat – but was horrified to discover Ben hanging from his bunk-bed by his shoelaces.

Paul says: “Unless you’ve ever found your child dead there’s no way you’d understand what it’s like.

“I was deeply shocked but started doing CPR and held him in my arms.

"Something just takes over and you go through the motions of getting an ambulance and so on.



The perfect son ... Ben relaxing

“He was pronounced dead at Worthing Hospital.

“That’s when the floodgates opened and all the emotion came pouring out.”

Paul, a forestry worker, has no doubt Ben would be alive if he hadn’t been bullied.

He says: “Ben was an intelligent, loving, sensitive and fun-loving young chap. He was everything you would want in a son, and now he’s gone.

“He’d be alive if the bullying hadn’t happened.

“That was clear from the outset.”

Ben’s torment began when a gang of boys nicked his tie just a day after he started Tanbridge House School, Horsham.

In the months that followed Ben endured taunts like w***er, dickhead and Billy No Mates from fellow pupils - and even the bus driver Brian McCullogh.

Although Paul complained to the school, C and L Coaches in Lancing and West Sussex County Council, no action appeared to be taken.

Paul says: “What happened was a complete systematic failure.

“I complained about the tie incident in September.

“When Ben admitted the bus driver was teasing him I kicked up about that too.

“A few times I offered to drive Ben to school myself. He accepted on a couple of occasions.

“But he was always keen to try and sort out the problem himself.

“I discovered a week before Ben died on 12 December that he was still on the same bus and facing the same driver months later.

“If anything was done to stop the bullying it wasn’t enough and it was too late to save Ben.”




I see hundreds and hundreds of children being bullied every day and frequently have no idea how to stop it or even to intervene. I talk to the students, recemmond them for mediation, call parents, but it all seems to be a hopeless cause. Frequently the students are bullies because that's what their parents have taught them. So how to we get the bullying to stop?

1 Comments:

At 6:19 PM, Blogger Jen said...

How very sad! I'm a middle school science teacher and I, too, find that my referral to the counselor, talking to parents, etc. seems to do little in the bully fight. I wish there was some way for the bully to recognize the significance of their actions.

 

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